Thursday, 5 May 2011

Rebecca Black. Another person that kills me. Seriously.

Rebecca Black. She seems like a match made in heaven for Justin Bieber. I mean, her horribly funny song 'Friday' has gotten SO MUCH attention, its alarming!! The bad lyrics, really bad grammar, stupid video, all combines to make for one funny explosion of....God, I really dont want to say music. I mean, sample this -

Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah,
[The beginning, atleast when written on paper, is like Justin Bieber's song 'Baby'. Its sad I know so much about him. And that song. Sigh.]Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein' everything, the
time is goin'
Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'
Gotta get down to the
bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)
[6 times...the lyrics have featured the word 'gotta' 6 times. Need I say more?]

Kickin' in
the front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
[I dont even...what the fuck does that even mean? However, I wont break down this line, because it has been hilariously teared apart by people way funnier than me]It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the
[I tried counting the number of times 'Friday' has been used in this paragraph, but its just been used WAY too many times.]

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
[I actually like this line. I like it even more because it fun fun tear it down when FUNFUNFUN was trending on twitter]

7:45, we're drivin' on
the highway
Cruisin' so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my
right, ay
I got this, you got this
Now you know it
["You know what it is", "I got this, you got this"...are ther talking about STD's?? Probably Syphillis?]

Kickin' in the
front seat
Sittin' in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat
can I take?
[Again...too good to be ruined by me]

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun,
fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend
Yesterday was Thursday,
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin')
We-we-we so excited
We so
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday
comes afterwards
I don't want this weekend to end
[THIS is the funniest, funniest thing ever! And, sadly, the most educational and deep part about the whole song. It is so informative and dumb at the same time...]

R-B, Rebecca
So chillin' in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat
(In the back seat)
I'm drivin', cruisin' (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes,
switchin' lanes
With a car up on my side (Woo!)
(C'mon) Passin' by is a
school bus in front of me

Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
my time, it's Friday, it's a weekend
We gonna have fun, c'mon, c'mon,
It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend

Friday, Friday
Gettin' down on
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend
Partyin', partyin'

Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to
the weekend

It's Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on
Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend
Gettin' down on Friday
Everybody's lookin' forward to the
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
Partyin', partyin' (Yeah)
fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend


I mean. It leaves me speechless. EVERYTIME. Since I am speechless, I've decided I will post some of the hilarious comments I read online. They are seriously, so funny..and reading them while listening to the song is even more FUN FUN FUN FUN!!!

Here they are:

    Love how when shes driving on the highway "so fast" she only refers to her friend on the right and totally discards the one on the left.
         that..was crap i actually have ear vomit..
             Isn't it illegal for a five year old to drive a car?
                I really hate this girl. what a fucking spaz. she sucks at singing. i think she doesn't deserve the 22,099,930 views that she has. now, excuse me i need to get new ears
                     I understand she likes fries.
                       "We we we so excited"? Really!? You sound fucking stupid!! I cant tell if this is a joke or not. This is a piss take right?
                           I thought autotune is suppose to HELP people?
                              This song ill as fuck. DJ Khaled bout to make a remix.
                                  Lol I hate this song 'everyday everyday everday'
                                      "Kicking in the front seat, sitting in the back seat! Gotta make my mind up. Which seat can I taaaaake?" Well, considering it's a five person car and the two front seats are taken, you can only take a back seat. Common sense. Use it.
                                          She is like Bieber without a penis. I like the part when she tells us the days of the week. Very informative. It's good!
                                              My god!! A retarded monkey could have made better lyrics.
                                                  Holy shit... If 8th graders start driving the world is much closer to an end than we thought.
                                                      Have I been trolled?
                                                              Her voice is all nasally sounding maybe she should blow her nose before singing
                                                                  I would rather have my eyelids snipped off with nail clippers than have to endure one more second of this....this....lack of a better word...."song"...... Oh wait! There IS a better word..... SHIT!
                                                                      Pink Floyd and The Beatles are just shit compared to this masterpiece. The lyrics are really meaningful and are really close to my heart. Shakespeare is nothing compared to the writers of this amazing song.
                                                                          A 26 year old guy is going to party with some teens, oh how nice lol...
                                                                              This song should have warning effects of the following: Suicidal thoughts, Migraine, Loss of appetite
                                                                                  Omfg, front or back seat!?!?! THE PRESSURE, IT BURNS!!!
                                                                                      Thats 3 minutes of my life, i aint getting back
                                                                                          Jesus Christ! My ears are bleeding! Her voice sounds like they recorded her while she was taking a hard shit that took 2 hours.
                                                                                              I would rather be punched in the balls by a midget than to listen to this song ever again
                                                                                                  Every dude in that video look like justin beibers little brother.
                                                                                                      Rather stick myself in my ballsack with a toothpick than listen to this bullshit.
                                                                                                          I swear to god. Every time I listen to this, I lose brain cells.
                                                                                                              this is so bad it's going to rip the fabric of the universe. willing to bet she's got something to do with 2012. i vote we take fridays out of the week. Thursdays go str8 to saturdays.
                                                                                                                  "tomorrow is saturday and sunday comes afterwards" gee thanks for that im always at a loss when it comes to the days of the week. fyi, there was only one freaking seat to sit in... why does she need to contemplate which seat to take?
                                                                                                                      Justin Beiber, you are officially relieved of your duties as worst musician recording today. Rebbecca Black has the watch.
                                                                                                                          SHE SOUNDS LIKE A DUCK HIGH ON CRACK AND HELIUM.........
                                                                                                                              This video is obviously a metaphor for the Russian revolution prior to napoleon's invasion of the country. The turmoil and dissarray of the country is clearly a point she is trying to get across to her audience.
                                                                                                                                  I will watch this every morning when I wake up, so I will know that the worst part of the day is over
                                                                                                                                       make a song saying "it's DIE DAY, DIE DAY gotta get hit on DIE DAY get killed by a car or get killed by bus which? death should i take?"
                                                                                                                                      Dear Rebecca Black, yesterday was Friday, and I had Chemistry class, and, you know I didn't know whether to sit in front or the back of the Chemistry Lab

                                                                                                                                      My favourtie part of this video is when it ended.

                                                                                                                                      bieber fever and black plague....we're not safe o.O

                                                                                                                                      Let me give you some singing? adivce. Your sopposed to sing through your mouth, not your nose

                                                                                                                                      I wanna bleach my hair and cut myself over and over again after seeing this

                                                                                                                                      I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics.

                                                                                                                                      Looks like someone got a little too excited for Friday and didn't do their grammar homework.

                                                                                                                                      stool, $20. rope, $5.99...not ever having to hear this bitch's whiny voice again...PRICELESS!!!

                                                                                                                                      this song makes me want to shit in a bag , eat it then shoot my stomach and eat my guts........... but good song

                                                                                                                                      i just added this to my "reasons 2 kill myself" list

                                                                                                                                      This is clearly a conspiracy to cover up Charlie Sheen's fuck ups.

                                                                                                                                      Shoot me in the face and reconstruct it. then hit me with a baseball bat.

                                                                                                                                      on the positive side for her boy is gonna want to be seen with her so her chance of a teenage pregnancy goes way down

                                                                                                                                      This is why weed should be legal, this song is more damaging to my ears than weed is to any part of my body...

                                                                                                                                      So, let me get this straight. This video promotes underage driving (without seat belts). Skipping School. Hatred for the word "are" (ex. We so excited) Speeding down the highway with passengers standing up in the back seat... because thats safeAlas,Bieber has found his challenge.

                                                                                                                                      I love how she wakes up with perfect make-up on :)
                                                                                                                                      That it all. These people say it all.

                                                                                                                                      Tuesday, 3 May 2011

                                                                                                                                      I know its too soon. I mean, I blogged, like, an hour ago. But I just remembered something. And when I remembered it, I realized I had to write about this.

                                                                                                                                      Anyhoo...yesterday, I read the book 'The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari'. I read it after the recommendation from my uncle. Who said that the book was "really awesome, and really helpful". So I read it. Back to back. In one go.

                                                                                                                                      My first thought - holy fucking hell.

                                                                                                                                      I mean...seriously. If I wanted to be preached to, I would have read all those religious books. Or listened to mother when she gets all philosophical. But this...this was another thing.

                                                                                                                                      I know there are people who absolutely love this book. But...let's get real here for a second. We should always be optimistic...and even if something bad happens, it will seem bad only if you look at it that way...this is the message the book is trying to get across.

                                                                                                                                      I mean, are you fucking kidding me? Bad is bad, dude. Nothing good can be construed out of bad. Unless you are a saint, who sees good in everything. I mean, a girl getting raped or...I dont know, you losing your loved ones to a terrorist can you possible look at that from an optimistic point of view?? Maybe I read the book the wrong way or something, but...seriously.

                                                                                                                                      Oh, and not only is that book ultra preachy like wannabe therapists, it describes a fifty something guy who looks thirty something because of seven principles he follows, and because he is mentally healthy or some other crap like that. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?? That is plain but subtle publicity. Its like, "Hey there, read this book, and follow whatever it says, and even if you are an old person, you will be younger!! And happier!!"

                                                                                                                                      I thought I had already been through the worst books ever. But, apparently, Satan has other plans for me. So NOT AWESOME.

                                                                                                                                      Disclaimer: Picture is so not mine.

                                                                                                                                      Justin Bieber Is A Singer. How Am I Still Alive?

                                                                                                                                      Doesnt he look lovely? Just like a pretty lady.

                                                                                                                                      Justin Bieber. These are two words I hate even more than 'Avada Kedavra' or 'Food's Over'. I mean, seriously. I would rather take a bullet through my head than listen to Justin Bieber squack. I say that because I refuse to believe that he actually sings. I absolutely refuse to believe that. If he is a singer, then I am a two headed monster with the superpower of peeing through my that I think of it, that superpower would be pretty useless, right? Ah, anyways. People might say that is gross, but that is just how I see it.

                                                                                                                                      Now back to the Biebs. I heard he is taking voice lessons because his voice is breaking. I hope it breaks for the worse, so that I no longer have to listen to...whatever he squacks out from his mouth.. Although...I have a nagging suspicion that that wont stop him. After all, bad voice didnt stop him before. Why would it stop him now? I know Bieb-Lovers would say I am being nasty because I get to hide behind my computer screen. But trust me. I would say more vicious things to his face if I get a chance. Although..I would never pay a dime to watch him....squack live just to throw eggs at him. Because that would be a waste of my money. And the eggs. Which I would rather eat. Scrambled, of course.

                                                                                                                                      You know what? I thought just occured to me. My relationship with Bieber would be best defined by Bruno Mars's horrible song 'Grenade'. I would, with all my heart, catch a grenade for him, throw my hand in front of a blade for STOP HIM FROM SINGING!!!!!! I know I am being mean, but its fricking true. When I listen to him, it feels like my ears are getting raped. And though I am not much into mainstream music, I hate no other artist more than him. Infact, barring a few idiots, I admire some of the mainstram pop singers. Like Lady Gaga. That chick's got serious balls. Not....literally, of course. Atleast I think so.

                                                                                                                                      For anyone who is gearing up to kill me (highly unlikely, I might as well add, since no one reads my blog anyways), I just want to point out the uselessness of his lyrics. That guy doesnt even have proper grammar! Like...U smile. SERIOUSLY?? Was it that hard to say 'you'? Are you texting a friend in a hurry that you have to use 'U' instead of 'you'? Honestly. All literary scholars are squirming in their graves.

                                                                                                                                      Do not hate me for it, Beliebers (what the fuck does that even mean? BELIEBERS? Lame.) But it is true. Atleast for me. Justin Bieber is horrible. Its been said!!!

                                                                                                                                      Saturday, 30 April 2011

                                                                                                                                      So Weird

                                                                                                                                      When I say 'So Weird', I am not referring to the show. Although, now that I think of was a pretty weird show...anywayyyyys, my point is, when I say 'so weird', I am referring to the people who say that about me around five minutes into any conversation I might be having with them. And, barring my friends, who feel confident enough to say that to my face, generally people just do this thing where they roll their eyes at something I said when they think I am not looking, and look at others who might be a part of the conversation, and then mouth - 'This chick is so weird!!'
                                                                                                                                      I am used to it. Infact, I kind of take a sick pleasure out of their obvious freakout. I am completely cool with the fact that many people think I am a freak of nature, and mostly, that is because I have discovered that that might be my true talent. Some people can sing, some can dance, and I, apparently, can make people uncomfortable. What's not to like?
                                                                                                                                      In the past, it bothered me that people usually looked at me like a tiger is doing jumping jacks. Lately,  Idont give a rat's ass. I would like to believe that is just nature's, gene's and environment's way of making me "different". And as long as I have a few people close to me who think my absurdity is awesome, I dont give a damn if the majority thinks I should be kept in solitary confinement!!